This article first appeared in Personal Wealth, The Edge Malaysia Weekly, on May 2 - 8, 2016.

Affluenza, according to the Oxford EnglishDictionary, is a psychological malaise supposedly affecting young wealthy people, symptoms of which include a lack of motivation, feelings of guilt and a sense of isolation. In a world of larger problems like the refugee crisis, climate change and poverty, such an affliction can only be deemed a First World problem.

More importantly, it is symptomatic of the fact that not only is too little money a problem but also too much seems to be creating behavioural and psychological side effects. The term, while believed to have first been used in the 1950s, reached global notoriety when lawyers of a 15-year-old who pleaded guilty to killing four people in a drunk-driving accident, used “affluenza” as a defence. The defence team argued that this condition meant the teenager could not be blamed for not being able to tell right from wrong, having been raised by wealthy parents. While the prosecutors recommended 20 years’ imprisonment, the boy, Ethan Couch, was sentenced only to rehabilitation with 10 years of probation.

American lawyers have never been accused of lacking creativity, and affluenza as a defence enraged many who felt justice was not served. But while it is not a disorder (and in the court case, was not even used accurately), there is probably some truth to the claim that wealth may cause a sense of moral entitlement.

A study conducted by University of California, Berkeley, found that in San Francisco, rich people are more likely to ignore pedestrians. In California, motorists are required to give way to pedestrians at crosswalks. This study found that drivers of luxury cars were four times less likely than those in less expensive vehicles to stop and allow pedestrians the right of way. In other words, they were more likely to break the law.

In another study by the same university on how privilege affects one’s behaviour, it had 100 pairs of strangers play Monopoly. One player of the arranged pairing was randomly chosen to be the rich player. The rich player got twice as much money at the start, collected double the salary when he passed “Go” and rolled both dice instead of one so he could move further. The pairs were observed in play for 15 minutes.

According to the researcher, Paul Piff, as time went on, the “rich” player became more rude and obnoxious. That person spoke louder and moved more aggressively, and even ate more snacks than the other participants. Moreover, in spite of both players knowing that the game was rigged, the “rich” players talked about how they had strategically played the game, succeeded and won. Their understanding of why they won completely ignored the fact that they had randomly got into the privileged position by the flip of a coin.

So you see, anyone can be afflicted with affluenza. Money makes even a normal person playing Monopoly mean. And it is not even real money. Merely thinking about money or thinking about having more money can make you mean. By the way, researchers from Harvard and the University of Utah found that participants were more likely to lie or behave immorally after being exposed to money-related words.

Our focus on materialism is normally associated with a lower quality of personal relationships. And that means putting the pursuit of material gain above personal relationships with others, as the Monopoly experiment showed. Clearly, if you rank among the affluent, this is something you need to be aware of, for yourself and also your children. Affluenza can lead to a poverty of values.

While a lot of us worry and fuss about how to pass our wealth down to our future generations, have we also given sufficient thought to the kind of legacy and money values we want our children to have? What do we want our children to inherit beyond money and material goods?

I have been fortunate to have been blessed with a comfortable life through my parents’ hard work. Both my husband and I have also had the good fortune to now live a very comfortable life. As a mother, as much as it gives me comfort, I worry a lot about making sure my son understands that all this is a privilege and not an entitlement.

Many children my son will meet are likely to come from affluent families. Yet, I want him to know that this is not how the world is. There are inequalities. There are people who have more, and then there are those who have less. There are children whose families have real challenges. I hope my son will understand how difficult it is to eke out a living and understand the value of money.

I want my son to know that he is lucky to have opportunities. They do not come all the time and he must treasure each and every opportunity that knocks on his door and be grateful that he has received them. Do not forget the people who have given you the chance and remember to pay it forward whenever you can.

I want my son to understand that money does not define us. We make money, but money does not make us. There are many different definitions of success and it should not be predicated on our having more material goods than the person next door. We must find it within ourselves to empathise with people, regardless of their monetary net worth. It is our role to continually elevate not only ourselves but also the people around us.

Lastly, while many parents will worry about grades, sending their children to top schools and top universities, it should constitute success only if it is what my child wants. Success should be doing what we are passionate about. This will probably be the hardest as we live in such a competitive environment, but it remains something I want to strive to do nonetheless.

This inheritance will take years and decades to build. But to truly avoid affluenza, remember that it is not how much money we leave behind that matters but our money values. Money can disappear far quicker than it can be made, but the inheritance of values and principles to live by will never fade. 

Ong Shi Jie (CJ) is head of integrated marketing and analytics at OCBC Bank (M) Bhd

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