This article first appeared in Personal Wealth, The Edge Malaysia Weekly, on Dec 14 - 20, 2015.

Irene Lee is a licensed financial planner with CWA. For queries, email us at [email protected]

THE bride was beautiful in her lovely gown, the groom handsome in his tuxedo, the guests dressed to the nines. Family members were chatting with the guests and the deep and sexy voice of Engelbert Humperdinck (picture), singing “Love is a many splendored thing”, could be heard in the background. This is the scene of many wedding dinners, which take months to book and many hours to plan. 

This was also the scene for Michelle and Steven’s wedding dinner 13 years ago. The “splendored thing” was good for about five years before it went downhill and ended in divorce. 

According to the statistics, there is a marital breakdown every 10 minutes in Malaysia. What is even more disturbing is that many are not divorced but choose to remain in an unhappy marriage. The most common reason given is that they stay for the sake of the children. 

Michelle’s love for her children was the only “splendored thing” when the marriage broke down. It was this love that made her leave the unhappy marriage. 

Steven became very spiteful when Michelle asked for a divorce. He quietly sold the matrimonial home, which had been purchased in his name, without her knowledge. As a result, Michelle had to move into a rented apartment with her two children, Andy and Anabella, who were then six and two years old. 

Michelle cried buckets and thought it was the lowest point of her life. Then, she lost her car. She came out of her office after work one day and found her car missing. When she could not find it, she thought it had been stolen. She was about to lodge a police report when she received an SMS from Steven, who told her he had taken the car. The car had been purchased in Steven’s name as she was not working at that point in their marriage. 

My heart cried for her when she shared her story with me. Nevertheless, I saw a very determined lady who did not dwell on her past. Michelle told me her main concern was her children’s education and her retirement. I asked her whether her ex-husband was helping out with the children’s expenses, and she told me the court had awarded her custody of the children and the father has to pay for the children’s monthly expenses. But he is nowhere to be seen and she does not want to spend more time and money on lawyers to claim her children’s expenses. So, she is on her own with regard to her children’s expenses.

Michelle, who is 37 now, joined the life insurance industry about four years ago. This has allowed her to spend more time with her children and build a business. Thankfully, she has a very reliable maid to help her with her children and her home. Although her family is very supportive, they live in another town. Her mother only comes to Kuala Lumpur once in a while to help her. The comforting thing is that she bought her own home about a year ago. According to her, this will provide stability for herself and her children. She had to move out from the first apartment as the owner wanted it back. She also found moving house very disturbing and stressful. 

Michelle is still picking up the pieces of her life after coming out of a very unhappy marriage. She will need time to build her assets in order for her to achieve all her financial goals. The wonderful thing is that she is able to manage her cash flow very well. She has a surplus of RM14,000 annually, which we are going to put in different regions and asset classes for the sum to grow so she can get closer to achieving her financial goals. 

We will invest as per her risk profile. We will also reposition her portfolio so that it is more efficient. Her money is currently invested locally. To manage country risk and to invest more efficiently, we will reposition her investment as per target portfolio.

As Michelle is a single mother with young children, I want her to set up a living trust for her children in addition to writing her will. The trust will minimise the disruption to her children’s life in the event of her early demise. She will also need to appoint a corporate trustee to handle the estate and living trust for her children. Appointing a corporate trustee will ensure that the children receive the benefits more efficiently. There will also be recourse in the event of breach of trust if a corporate trustee is appointed. Michelle will need to look into getting all her insurance and EPF nominations up to date and appoint a reliable trustee for her insurance policies.

A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person. Unfortunately, it did not happen in Michelle’s marriage. She was very brave to do what she did, and she told me it was her love for her children that kept her going. She is very clear on what she wants. She is also willing to seek help, which I felt was her first step to her success.

I know I will have a very good working relationship with Michelle. We will review her plan regularly to make sure she is on track or if there are any adjustments that need to be made due to changes in her life. To be able to get out of an unhappy marriage and become a happier person is the best gift Michelle can give to her children. A mother’s love is a truly “splendored thing”.

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