This article first appeared in Capital, The Edge Malaysia Weekly on April 6, 2020 - April 12, 2020

Now that we are well into the year 2020, you would expect society to have become more savvy. You know, way better than our forefathers, especially when it comes to having a First World mentality?

But no. Here we are, despite being told to #stayathome to #flattenthecurve, we step out because we crave our favourite char kuey teow or need to go for that never-to-be-missed daily jog because #fitnesscomesfirst.

And it bothers me even more that a ministry came out with an ill-advised statement to women on social media on how to avoid domestic violence at home while under #MCO. In case you missed it, the underlying message was basically to make yourself desirable to your husband and you’ll be fine lah. One of its suggestions? Wear make-up ... because men find that sexy, don’t they?

It’s amazing that the ministry in question is none other than the Women, Family and Community Development Ministry (KPWKM) which, I must point out, is headed by a woman. Tell me I’m not the only one who finds it ironic.

In the posting — which was taken down within hours — women were also told to speak to their spouses/partners in a Doraemon-like tone instead of nagging (because that’s all we do, right?) and not be snarky when it comes to sharing the burden of chores.

And therein lies the problem. Simply, the message that KPWKM was trying to get across was that it is the responsibility of women to keep everything in check, which is demeaning and overall wrong on so many levels. Allow me to dissect.

Misogyny/sexism has got to be the ugliest word in existence; at least it’s how I feel. For so long, we have rallied, spoken up and preached about women empowerment. Where has that taken us so far?

According to the World Economic Forum’s Global Gender Gap Report 2020, Malaysia ranked 104th out of 153 countries, and 13th out of 20 in the East Asia and Pacific sphere, when it comes to gender equality. In 2006, we did much better, coming in at No 72 worldwide.

It is just too bad that several macais decided to take a page from that fascinating controversial rule book, 30 Ways To Keep Your Husband. If you haven’t heard of it, look it up online — it’s worth your time.

Now, let’s talk about domestic abuse. Recent reports have revealed that amid the Covid-19 outbreak, widespread lockdowns have resulted in an increase in cases of domestic violence. In coronavirus epicentre Hubei, for instance, reported incidents during the lockdown in February rose over three-fold to 162 from 47 last year.

In Malaysia, according to the Women’s Aid Organisation, 5,421 cases of domestic violence were reported by the Royal Malaysia Police in 2018. While this was a marginal 1.7% reduction from 5,513 cases in 2017, it was an improvement, nonetheless.

So, how on earth are we to lower the stats if we suspend the Talian Kasih hotline (note: it has since been reactivated) and call on women to take on the persona of the famous blue Japanese robotic cat and giggle coyly instead of educating everyone at home that housework is to be shared?

Here’s what we should be doing instead:

1.    Stop people regardless of gender from becoming abusers and have more outreach programmes towards that specific goal.

2.    Increase penalties for abusers.

3.    Empower women to be more financially independent.

4.    Provide more funding for crisis and support services.

5.    Champion women’s rights, not trample on them.

Instead of the widely-disparaged announcement, KPWKM could have instead sent out a positive and empowering message to our female frontliners who are working tirelessly and risking their lives day and night, and who have their own families pining for their return.

It has been 63 years since independence and we deserve better than this. If men can’t protect us, at least we have each other in spirit. We may have lots of hats to wear but being submissive to the point of imitating a cartoon cat THAT’S NOT EVEN FEMALE?

Anyway, until #MCO is lifted for good, #dudukrumahdiamdiam and stay safe. To those in the front line — we are forever in your debt — or who are affected by this dreadful virus, our hearts go out to you. To our country Malaysia, get well soon!

Save by subscribing to us for your print and/or digital copy.

P/S: The Edge is also available on Apple's AppStore and Androids' Google Play.