Thursday 28 Mar 2024
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This article first appeared in Capital, The Edge Malaysia Weekly on January 21, 2019 - January 27, 2019

If you believe in the New Malaysia, the only shares you need to own for the next 10 years are those of condom makers.

Yes, really.

Sell your house, sell your organs, borrow money from your parents — I don’t care how you get the money — just make sure you put all of it in these counters.

I will tell you why.

I think that Malaysia — home market of these condom makers — could offer the greatest market potential for the companies in the next 10 years.

Following the historic change of government last May, much has been said about rebuilding our nation in the New Dawn, New Malaysia era.

Unfortunately, many ugly Malaysians have yet to discard their Third-World mentality.

On the roads, you still see mat rempit, reckless driving, people ignoring traffic signs, double-parking or even someone standing on a parking bay to reserve it.

Along the expressways, you see filthy public toilets that are like something out of a horror movie. Sixty-one years after independence, Malaysians have learnt how to change the government but have not learnt how to use public toilets properly. Vandalism only makes it worse.

Back home, your neighbours are throwing rubbish indiscriminately. You need to be extra careful if you are living in a high-rise. If you are lucky, you might be assaulted by a thrown cigarette butt. If you are unlucky, you might suffer a concussion, or worse, serious injuries from a old chair thrown from a great height.

Malaysia may pride itself on providing First-World infrastructure but there is still a lack of civic consciousness and common courtesy among its citizens.

So, how do we change the ugly Malaysian?

I hate to say this, but we can’t.

What we can do, however, is educate these uncouth people to stop reproducing, so that their bad genes are not passed down to future generations.

Next time, if you see a badly parked car, perform a random act of kindness to the motorist by handing him a condom. Nip the problem in the bud — don’t reproduce.

It may not happen overnight. But if everyone of us can do our part in helping to promote the use of condoms among such people, maybe, just maybe, we will see a more beautiful New Malaysia.

If that ever happens, imagine the surging sales and profits the condom makers will make.

Seriously, forget about buying gold, property, bitcoin ...

Forget about that golden rule of investing — don’t put all your eggs in one basket.

Just open a trading account and buy shares of condom makers only.

Then, open a margin account and buy more such shares.

Again, I probably did not stress enough that this is only if you sincerely believe in the New Malaysia.

Do you believe in the New Malaysia? I do.

That’s why I am giving condom makers a “screaming buy” call.

Disclaimer: I own 100 shares in a condom maker and intend to keep them for my children.

PS: Condoms are highly effective against idiotism. If you are reading this, you probably don’t need one.

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