Coffee Break: Do you covfefe?

This article first appeared in Capital, The Edge Malaysia Weekly, on June 5, 2017 - June 11, 2017.
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YOU know that the world is heading into oblivion when arguably one of the most powerful men in the world starts speaking in tongues.

Unless you have been hiding in the woods this past week, it would be hard to miss the word “covfefe”, which has been popping up on feeds and making its way into everyday conversation.

For that, you can thank POTUS Donald Trump’s tweet last Wednesday where, in the middle of his daily media bashing, his sentence ended simply with … covfefe.

What followed, as Twitter went into meltdown, was nothing short of pure comedy gold. Some argued that maybe he was tweeting nuclear codes, only to be tackled halfway and jabbed with a sedative by his minders. Hillary Clinton (half)-joked that maybe it was a hidden message for the Russians.

Rationally, it was most likely a typo — understandable, given how small Trump’s hands are.

However, given the lack of accountability and the circus sideshow that the Trump presidency has become, it was no surprise that not only was the tweet allowed to stay up for hours but that he tried to pass it off as “I meant to do that”.

Even more facepalm inducing was his press secretary’s po-faced response, defending his president’s gibberish to the media along the lines of, “You allz not special enough to understanz kay?”

Although, to be fair, it can be argued that even when speaking proper words and coherent sentences, politicians have often been accused of saying one thing while meaning something completely different.

Like when UK Prime Minister Theresa May insisted that she would not call a snap election … only to call one weeks later.

Or when Trump’s bestie Vladimir Putin insisted that Russia hadn’t tampered with the US elections, only to recenly admit that maybe some private citizens had, sorry.

Or those who preach peace, love and kumbaya … and then seem to baulk at sharing meals with those of other faiths … again, hypothetically.

Whatever covfefe means, it might not soon matter. Remember what I said earlier about the world heading into oblivion? Well, it appears the reality is one step closer — Trump has decided to covfefe Mother Nature with the grandiose announcement that the US will be pulling out of the Paris climate accord.

Yes, so if you have been wanting to take that trip to Venice, you might need to take it soon as it might not be there in about five years.

It was a move that was met not only with widespread condemnation but also resulted in many of his business advisers, including Elon Musk and Disney’s Bob Iger, resigning in protest.

The funny thing is — in another case of saying one thing and doing another — while Trump thinks that his move is bringing back jobs to America, in actual fact what he is doing is allowing former pollution poster child China to step in and somehow be the hero.

Like his tweet, it seems Trump never thinks of the consequences.

So, maybe this is our yearly reminder to never take anyone at their word because, sometimes, the word is really just utter rubbish.

Someone once said that a politician is a person who can talk for hours and never actually say anything. If that is really the case, the horrifying reality is that Trump could very well be ruling the universe by the time his four-year term (hopefully) ends.

And if that does happen, well then we are pretty much all covfefe’d.